Love me the right way
I have always liked doing those 5 love languages quizzes because it helped me realize the way I perceive love and the way others around me love as well. Doing those quizzes got me thinking about something, how do I love God? How am I showing Him that I love him ?. Those questions brought me to the conclusion that I didn't know if I was expressing my love the right way especially because I was going through a pretty dark moment with my faith, where I felt that I love God but I wasn't doing anything to show Him that.
The potter and the clay
To be honest with you, in that year and a half that I spend far away from God, every day was a nightmare, where my angriness and pride wouldn't let me get near my Bible. Until one day everything crumbles, the pressure was too much, the loneliness was too much, the anxiety was too much. I used to feel like I was constantly drowning and couldn't breathe. I felt powerless, weak, and empty, and after not praying for almost two years, I did one small, short but honest prayer before opening my Bible.
I opened it and there it was....not what I wanted to hear but what I need it to hear. I felt God responding saying - I want you to love me, I want you to know me.
I said - You know that I love you.
The moment I said that I felt my heartbreak. After everything I was going through, I honestly thought it couldn't be more broken than what already was. The truth is that when the world breaks you, it's to destroy you completely but when God does, it's always to build something better in us. The Bible tells us that God our father is like a potter and that we are all at the work of His hand. That means He is constantly molding us, making us better, and sometimes that means cutting some stuff out, fixing the scratches and all that, hurts it's not pleasant but it's for the better.
"You know that I love you" who else said that? yes, you are right, Peter said those exact same words to Jesus three times after denying Him three times too. That was the first thing that came to my mind after saying those exact same words, and of course that made me feel even worse because in some sense I was denying Jesus too wasn't I? I wasn't living a Christian life, no Bible, no prayer, my behavior wasn't the best one, I went to church on Sunday just because my family did, and with all that I still dare to say that "I did love Him".
That's when I felt Him saying again, Love me the right way.
What is Love?
The right way is God's way. Unfortunately, everyone has their own way to love just like the quizzes we were talking about earlier, for some people love is selfish or maybe beautiful. For others love is a waste of time and money or just an excuse to not be alone. So how do Love the right way, when we actually don't know what Love is? well, the only way is to know Love itself, God. The Bible says that God is love, so in order to love we have to know God. To do that we have to spend time with Him.
We tend to confuse that the way to show Love towards God is by the things we can do just like the "sacrifices" the Israelites brought to the temple, but God didn't want their sacrifices. He wanted their hearts.
God wants us to be living sacrifices.
In a relationship
Maybe you think, how do I even start to Love God the right way? it's easy, ask Him. Don't we all ask that special someone what they like and what they don't, to make them feel loved? It's the same with God, except that God knows everything about you, what you like, what you need, and more. The real question is, is it reciprocated? Some of us are in a one-sided relationship with God, where He is the only one putting in the effort.
I want to encourage you to start living a life, in a relationship with God. Be the living sacrifice, let's love Him the right way, His way.