The Me

Four years ago, a broken soul with a painful past. A person who thought the worst about her and accepted it as facts and truth.

The person who countless times tried to leave this world with her own hands but failed miserably and increased her own pain to the max.

The one who thought everything was lost. The feeling that there was nothing else to do and no hope left at all. My mind kept on giving up but my heart and soul kept on fighting and pushing along with the pain.

The one who thought there was no purpose to her at all.

The person who lost herself, her identity, and self-love.

The person who thought that loving herself was dumb and also nonexisting.

The one who thought that loving herself was a foolish thing to do or think about

Indeed It felt selfish as well.

The person who was not capable of being true to herself, someone who

underestimated herself all the time. A broken piece of glass that felt like a waste

of space for society and the world.A piece of trash.

The one who was always looking for validation but ended up stabbing herself as

A consequence of such a dumb thing. Such a cowered person, so shameful, so

Unforgiving, such a waste, such a problem, so annoying, so unworthy it. So low

And no identity at all.

What I felt a couple of years ago.

Me Now.

Now, yes I still have a couple of pieces of broken glass, but I'm a

masterpiece in progress. Yes sometimes I remember some memories of my

Painful past but it doesn't define me anymore.

Sometimes I may feel insecure about how to do things or if I'm capable of doing anything.

I left my pain in the past and decided to live free of my negative thoughts.

I found hope, grace, and also mercy.

I'm so proud and happy that I kept on pushing and didn't give up.

I'm so glad that my heart won the war against the negative thoughts inside my

Mind. I have found my purpose in life and I'm so joyful not only because of that

But also because my soul has been found and saved.

The negative silly person is gone.

The person who couldn't love herself, who did not have an identity and was lost

has already been found. This person has learned that loving herself is not selfish

And that she cannot pour out of an empty cup. I'm not looking or seeking to be

Truth to myself but to the one who created me and saved me, To the one who

I knew about myself even before I was in my mother's womb. I quit underestimating

Anything that falls under the will of my savior from YHVH but I will underestimate

Anything that comes from my flesh or from this evil world. I'm not a waste to

society, I don't feel like that anymore cause I'm not here to please them. Never

Again. The only validation I need is from the one I see when I look into the sky.

The one whose name comes out of my diaphragm every time I breathe.

I am brave, I am not ashamed and I am forgiven. I have not only forgive

But my father in heaven has forgiven me, loved me, and given my identity

Not in myself but in the name of Jesus Christ. Forgiveness will not change the

Past but it will enlarge the future.

I have found peace with my body, my soul, my beauty, my heart but most of all

I have found the perfect peace under the name of my savior, under his will. The

The perfect place where it doesn't matter how much noise, trouble, hard work or

Storms can be happening, but I can still hear the beautiful gentle whispers of my Lord.

I have learned that it doesn't matter what type of storm I'm going through I'm not

Waiting for it to stop but I will be dancing in the Rain with love, joy, and peace.

Thank you, God. How wonderful is to know that you see me in a way that no one

Else can. Not only did you choose me to be yours before the beginning of time,

But also nothing can change your opinion about me. Thank you for accepting me

As I am, and not for how I think I should be. Help me to accept myself as you

Accept me and know that I understand your unconditional pure love and i

Pray that I can love the same way that you do. Thank you for showing me that

There's nothing greater than finding peace under your power and will but most of

All thank you for finding me and saving me.

The new version of me will follow your paths, and your will and fulfill the purpose that

You have given me.

Thank you father for the new me.

Meet the Face Behind the post

Sindy is a youth leader based in New York. She’s a Fashion Designer and Artist. She’s also the founder of Scars With Purpose where she’s focusing on not only bringing transparency on how to live as a Christian but facing daily struggles, doubts, hardships, and imperfections. Sindy is also trying to help others keep pushing and to realize that it’s not about waiting for the storm to pass but about learning how to dance in the rain. And that there’s gonna be times that is okay to chase the storm but without fear because in the end, after all the dark clouds are gone the beautiful Blue sky will appear. She’s someone who’s trying to show the world what the real meaning of love is by reflecting on Our Lord and Savior Jesus.